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Joke of the Day

"Horse walks into a bar Bartender ""why the long face?"""

"How many amoebae does it take to change a lightbulb one no, two no, four eight, 16, 32...."

"Note to self: ""rubber"" in the US does NOT mean ""eraser"". Bright side: my popularity in this office is at an all time high!"

"I want my tombstone to read: Don't feel too bad, he really liked sleeping"

"Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, ""Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"""

"I think my dog always follows me into the bathroom because I always follow her outside when she goes and she just thinks that's how it works"

"[party in 1939] teen: truth or dare hitler: dare teen: dare you to invade poland hitler: omg no way u guys all the teens: DO IT DO IT"

"What do you call someone who's only part Jew? Jewish"

"I've got 99 of everything, and my problem is hoarding and OCD OCD OCD OCD."

"You sneeze more than 5 times in a row and I'm gonna start performing an exorcism."