210349

Joke of the Day

"My spirit animal is a parasite that swims up your pee hole and plants an egg sac using its hook-like barbs."

"What do you call an anti-social black man? A brown recluse."

"Why don't women work as long and as hard as men in the office? They do it right first time."

"My wife says I'm irresponsible with money! No change there then."

"9/10 dentists recommend good dental hygiene... The other dentist is from England."

"So I heard you just saw a play at Ford Theater, how was it? It was Mind-Blowing"

"If there's a pedicure, why are there still pedophiles?"

"The 12 Days of Christmas reads like the amazon wish list of someone tripping balls"

"The last time Twitter was down I was forced to speak to real people. Real people go on and on and on and on, for way over 140 characters..."

"Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?"