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Joke of the Day

"My scout leader taught me a very valuable lesson... ... ""If you lick your fingers and wet it a little, it will slide right in"". Threading needles has never been this easy!"

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"Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :("
"I was going to tell you about the people in the apartment upstairs... But that's another story."
"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? -Nice belt."
"What position does the pig play in football? Loinback."
"How I pissed off my girlfriend during sex. I called her."
"All the problems fade before a hangover"
"Black licorice tastes like Satan himself made candy and then it expired."
"Two Dragons walk into a bar One dragon says, ""It's hot in here"". ""Shut your mouth"", says the other dragon."
"At the mattress store I set all the sleep numbers to 69, because I'm hilarious and original and sexy."