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Joke of the Day

"""Bartender, I'd like to buy that table of women debating their favorite season of The Bachelor a round of cats"""

"'Ukraine's crisis has been caused by the west.' - Putin"

"Fetty Wap could probably get more girls. Too bad he's not much of a looker."

"Why can't Keanu Reeves eat his soup? There is no spoon"

"A billionaire, a clown, and a presidential candidate walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""How's it going, Donald?"""

"My cell phone battery dies quicker than a mother in a Disney movie"

"If the house is in the kitchen, and Diana's in the kitchen, what's in Diana? A state (Indiana)"

"Here's a promise - if a scuba shop is within sprinting distance of the ocean and they let me try stuff on I'm not paying for a damn thing."

"What's the difference between a twitcher and a stutterer? One's a bird watcher and the other's a word botcher!"

"I've got no beef with white wine."