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Joke of the Day

"How do remove a bunch of drunk Canadians from the pool? You ask them to leave."

"If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis... it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless"

"My wife wanted me to go shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn't have sex."

"I like to play music loud It's kind of my forte."

"My mum says I need to get rid of my blow up sex doll. I don't want to let her down."

"The United Nations is like a black father You know it exists but it's just never there when you need it ."

"What did the math major say to himself when he discovered that he was no longer a sapling? Gee, I'm a tree."

"Hey, same-height couples. You're weird. Everyone thinks so."

"Pulleys are the rednecks of the gear world No teeth"

"Hey bartender, pour me another, I see ugly people."