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Joke of the Day

"There are 400 billion birds in the world, 250,000 planes, and one Superman. So, in answer to your question - probably a bird."

"Q: How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed? A: Depressed."

"My computer crashed. Now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening."

"Three guys walk into a bar... You think the third guy would have learned to duck."

"If I had wings, I'd spread them and soar like an eagle for about ten minutes then space out on a phone wire with these fat pigeons"

"Me: Pack your bags.I won the lottery! G/F: Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff? Me: Doesn't matter, just get out."

"I can't wait until my breasts make milk. Sometimes I get thirsty. And the fridge is all the way over there."

"Say what you will about hitler... At least he killed 6 million Jews"

"Why are Asians not optimistic? Because they have a limited view of life."

"I was watching the film, 'A Perfect Murder,' with my wife She told me she was getting scared. ""Is it the storyline?"" I asked. ""Not really,"" she replied. ""Stop taking notes."""