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Joke of the Day

"I found a typo on these Fruity Pebbles. For the serving size it says 3/4 ""cup."" They totally spelled ""box"" wrong."

"A man takes his wife out to dinner one night. The wife says, ""I want you to treat me like a princess."" The husband drives his Mercedes into a wall."

"There were two old men... That were sitting on their porch, when a dog comes up and starts licking his dick. One old man said, ""I wish I could do that "" Then the other said, ""that dog would bite you."""

"Hug a terrorist Only 30% of people have hugged the person they're going out with."

"If you think sex is just filling her hole Then you're a civil engineer, not a lover"

"Nachos on Christmas Eve. We're celebrating the birth of cheeses!"

"When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car."

"What do you call it when God masturbates? Jesus fucking Christ"

"Did you know Justin Bieber has an 8 inch cock? Yeah, but it's up his ass and it belongs to Usher"

"Why did the welder put on a scuba tank? Someone's got to fix this sub."