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Joke of the Day

"People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides"

Next Joke
 
"Why was the father centipede annoyed? Because all of his children needed new shoes."
"[the cops release the cadaver sniffing dogs into my living room for the third time this week] ME: *pauses netflix* I told you I'm not dead!"
"My reaction to jokes where the punchline is [removed] after seeing so many of them [removed]"
"My parents are visiting. So I pretty much know how much gas costs everywhere"
"It's truly amazing what Abraham Lincoln accomplished while wearing such a big stupid hat."
"What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans? Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today."
"How do you confuse a drummer? Give him sheet music"
"What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes? Xu wong"
"Which concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat Nickelback"