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Joke of the Day
"So if you help Jack get on the horse... do you help Jack off the horse?"
Next Joke
"""Hey, my face is UP HERE and also OVER HERE"" - woman in Picasso painting"
"What do you call an elderly nun riding a scooter? Virgin Mobile."
"Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home."
"My downstairs neighbor thinks I'm a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that's what she wrote in her diary."
"I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit."
"My wife said to take the dogs for a walk because they looked like they needed to go out. But I think they're full of crap."
"9-1-1 what's ur emergency ""well i guess it's that one of my friends changed all of my contacts' phone numbers to 9-1-1."""
"My girlfriend just texted me, 'thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative Anybody know what ternative means?"
"Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts? Offshore investment gains a better return."