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Joke of the Day

"Did you here Whitey Bulger was put in solitary confinement because he was caught masterbating in his cell? It was a sticky situation."

"I made a model aircraft. I wanted it to be an unpainted smooth finish wooden aircraft. So I made a plain planed plane plane."

"What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana."

"The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time.. Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours."

"Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America"

"[30 Days of Christmas Jokes] Why was Santa's little helper sad? Because he had low ELFesteem"

"TIL that a class was taught by the wrong stand in teacher and the students knowingly went along with it. Whoops, wrong sub."

"*buys Sushi for Dummies* *preheats oven* *reads first page of Sushi for Dummies* *turns off oven*"

"[back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!"

"What should we name this ancient Japanese throwing knife? A: Let's just name it the first thing that comes to mind, think you can handle that? B: Sure I can."