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Joke of the Day
"Why did Jesus leave the dance floor? Because it was Hammertime'"
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"How man Jews can you fit in a Mercedes? A few thousand. They all fit in the ashtray"
"How do you know you have a high sperm count? When the girl has to chew before she swallows."
"Things to do before I start the thing I am supposed to be doing: All of the things."
"My kid brother used to have a lazy eye and had to wear an eye patch. My whole body is lazy so I'm wearing my couch."
"I grew up in a very sheltered household. Our house had 17 roofs. We had alcoves upon alcoves. I wore a tarp wherever I went."
"I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes"
"Why are bodybuilders the best the best partners? Because with them it always works out."
"There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra."
"What do you do when you love a hotel? You Mariott"