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Joke of the Day

"Stalin's political career didn't really take off, until he played the trump card -Seize the means of reproduction!"

"Hub: You ready to go? Me: In a minute, I'm beating the kids. [Cut to me just decimating the kids at Mario Kart]"

"Girls are magic... They get wet without water, can bleed without injuries and get boneless things hard!"

"Optimism? Sure, it's worth a try. I don't see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever."

"What do you call a bird that flies over a baseball stadium? A fowl !"

"Niece: found these handcuffs in your drawer. Me: yea I got arrested once Niece: omg why Me: for going through my aunt's drawers."

"When you get to your wit's end, You'll find God lives there."

"Just learned the Finnish have a word ""Kalsarikannit"" which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear. Signing immigration forms now."

"Whats black on top but white on bottom? Rape."

"A patient kept complaining about his life-support machine making a weird noise So I tried turning it off and back on again."