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Joke of the Day

"What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs? thepiratebay"

"It's so cute how my kids think I'm going to go look for them after I finish counting to ten."

"I was walking down the street in New York yesterday, when a black guy asked me if the Yankees won... I replied, ""Yeah man, you're free."""

"Knock knock Who's there? Obesity. Obesity who? Obesity is not a joke it's a wake-up call."

"I texted my mom at 5am telling her trump won, she asked why I was up so early. I told her ""I don't know. Maybe the sound of my health insurance flying away woke me up."""

"Whoops, pizza sauce on my hands. Better wash this off with soap and water. Oh poop on my ass? I'll just use this dry paper and call it good."

"What happened to the Chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his nose"

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...and so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust."

"Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him."

"Ever notice Santa brings way nicer shit to rich kids than poor kids? Hey kids ,maybe it's time to do a little Christmas critical thinking."