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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Lombard street in San fransisco is the second most crooked street in the United States? The most crooked street in the United States is Wall Street!"

"Today I won the National Laziness Championship! What did you win? Atrophy"

"What's the difference between humor and odor? Humor is a shift of wit."

"What animal is two animals at the same time? The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait."

"I asked a pharmacist ""do you stock multicoloured tampons?"" ""Not since Brexit, they were made for brighter periods."""

"My girlfriend has this really weird fetish She likes to pretend she's 13 years old when we have sex. I don't know why, she'll be 13 in a couple of years anyway."

"Computer: Login failed. Did you forget your password? Me: oh shi-- [Cut to my password waiting alone on the side of a soccer field]"

"I like my women like I like my cider... ... cold and dry ;)"

"What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers!"

"My dog and I have a system together. We both eat, then we walk... Then we both shit in my neighbors lawn."