207453

Joke of the Day

"When do you kick a midget in the balls? When he is standing next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice."

"What do angry beavers build? DAMNITS!"

"*Makes joke on Twitter* *5 Retweets* *Makes same joke on Facebook* *5 comments from aunts saying that the joke was inappropriate*"

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7? I still love vista, baby"

"What did the computer say to the pirate? Want to date hot Russians!"

"Oh goodness it's Olympic Soccer. If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd take some of my single friends to the bar."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish... and he'll be fined for fishing without a license."

"This is just a quick reminder that we're all gonna die one day so don't get caught up in petty shit also stop stealing my tweets Greg."

"*Lowers raised hand. Where's the nearest cycle path you meant? Thought you said psychopath."

"Coming soon to NBC: She's a lawyer who, you guessed it, doesn't play by the rules. And he's a doctor who, right again, pees sitting down."