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Joke of the Day

"TIL there is a real place called The Cake is a Lie seriously, what do you expect from me?"

"Steve Irwin died as he lived... With nature in his heart"

"Everybody has their own circle of friends. Yet the police still want to refer to mine as a ring'."

"[seaworld] ""Hey what happened to the new guy?"" -He tried to have sex with the dolphin in tank 6 ""But there's a shark in tan.."" -BINGO!"

"I'm not saying I've let my house get filthy, but this is the second time I've caught my new Roomba trying to mail itself back to the factory"

"I had a Viagra addiction... and it was the hardest time of my life."

"make love, not war 1) In the 60s, they made love, not war. I'm married. I make both."

"*At the pearly gates* St Peter: Welcome to heaven. I'll show you around. Me: Sooo many oysters must've died to make this gate."

"So an old-timer goes out for breakfast... And the young whippersnapper of a waiter asks ""What will you have, Sir?"" ""Bacon my day, sonny!"" [Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works]"

"What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!"