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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand. I've stared at you from a distance multiple times throughout the year. How'd you not know I was in love with you?"

"i never understood why we had to blow on the nintendo cartridge before eating it"

"Teacher: Johnny, use the words 'defeat"", ""deduct"" and ""detail"" in a sentence. Johnny: Yes ma'am. ""Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."""

"They just opened a sperm bank for gay couples. You can get it by the buttload."

"My dad made this joke after finding out he needed surgery for potential rectal cancer. Well at least no one can call me a complete asshole anymore!"

"That awkward moment when you're trying not to look when someone is staring at you."

"Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me."

"It's like grandma always said... In a car with a sunroof, you have more room for your legs"

"It seems like I only have sex with girls in high heels... Probably because the ones in tennis shoes run too fast."

"What's invisible and fucks kids? The Zika virus."