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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, are you a Blastoise? Cause your Hydropump is super effective."

"In ""Captain Sully"", technically speaking, Tom Hanks did not fly a plane on to the Hudson River That was falling with style"

"The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try."

"Broomhilda & Django Broomhilda never knows when Django is in the mood cause the D is silent."

"The first Jewish President is being sworn in His mother is in the audience, she turns to the man sitting beside her and says ""See my son up there? Well, his brother is a doctor!"""

"Does French wine really taste like urine? Oui."

"I got this gem from a 6-year-old ...seriously, I need to get rid of it fast, the law really frowns on stealing from children."

"What is the worst place to have the ""you break it, you buy it"" rule? The pet store"

"What kind of pokemon is a vagina that's just had an extended session of hard sex? Vulvasore :D"

"A man noticed that his thermometer had come down with a nasty cold. Medicine in hand, he asked the thermometer, ""How are you feeling?"" The thermometer responded, ""0K."""