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Joke of the Day

"Why were the baker's hands smelly? He kneaded a poo"

"Apparently ""cheesecake & tacos"" wasn't the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are."

"Sex so good, you get out of bed to see which neighbor is having it."

"I just hit a Smart car and now it's my hood ornament."

"""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""A law"" ""A law who?"" ""Allahu Akbar"""

"You'll have to excuse me. I've just been going through a weird time since birth."

"What happened when the mathematician put seaweed on her boobs? Algae-bra!"

"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decaffeinated! Bah dum dum...ting"

"No matter how hard you push the envelope it's still stationary. thanks dad!"

"They say to wait a few months before throwing down $1000+ on something, to see if you still want it. Unfortunately, my land lord doesn't seem to agree."