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Joke of the Day

"why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE"

"Does anyone want a vacuum cleaner? Mine's just gathering dust."

"I'll lean at a 45 degree angle if I'm so inclined."

"If I had an email for every Hillary Clinton joke being made right now I'd have none."

"My wife and I couldn't decide on which psychic to go and see... But we were able to come to a happy medium"

"What would batman do if he wasn't rich? He would be robin."

"When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever."

"Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?"

"Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street. They pass a playground where a little boys playing. The Priest says to the Rabbi, ""Hey you want to screw that kid?"" The Rabbi replies, ""Out of what?"""

"It took me a long time to figure out how one could like EDM music. I didn't think Electrical Discharge Machining could even make music."