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Joke of the Day
"why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE"
Next Joke
"What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb? I have made a grave mistake."
"Don't move to Mars because of president-elect Trump. Last I checked, it was a red state."
"Wife to her Husband Wife to her husband: ""I told you I'll be back in five minutes, so why you are calling me every half an hour?"""
"COP: Anything you say can and will be used against you-- ME: Handcuff keys COP (to his partner): Damn, this guy's good"
"Did you hear about the guy who was frozen to absolute zero? He was 0K."
"Q: What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments? A: Luters."
"""A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer ."""
"*sends signal to space 24/7 that just says Updog* *aliens respond* Alien: Whats Updog? NASA: Lol guess there isnt intelligent life out there"
"I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink..."