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Joke of the Day

"You can be the most beautiful woman on the planet but if you can't cook don't worry I can"

"Farts are ghosts of things we eat!"

"In the middle of a really messy divorce, I decided suicide was the only option. I just need to talk her into it now."

"11 year old step son told me this... I lol'd Why did the cops show up at the elementary school? A 1st grader was resisting a rest."

"How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)"

"Did you hear the Bill Clinton has given up the saxophone? He traded it for the hormonica."

"How many A.D.D kids does it take to change a lightbulb? WANNA RIDE BIKES?"

"I tried telling a joke to Messi But he missed the point"

"White people can't say the N word, but we DO get to say things like, ""Thanks Dad"" and, "" Thanks for the warning, Officer."""

"why did the nun take off her clothes? she had a bad habit"