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Joke of the Day

"Wise people think all they say, fools say all they think."

"What grazes in the Higgs Field? The Higgs Bison!"

"bloke in the pub The other night, this bloke in the pub was telling me he was a big star in the 80's with a song called ""stand and deliver"". I didn't believe a word he said, but he was adamant"

"My ex told me that Gaga's ""Bad Romance"" song reminds him of me. Now I'm glad I dumped him. What sort of idiot admits to listening to Gaga."

"If Rand Paul ran for president and put Scott Walker on his ticket as running mate, their campaign would be Paul Walker 2016"

"If I bought 1/4 of the Viagra the spammers are offering me, I'd have a hard on for the next 400 years."

"Two crows walk into a bar. Before they can order their first drink, they get arrested for attempted murder."

"Pregnant women go through a ""nesting"" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.... not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? ...The holocaust"