205311

Joke of the Day

"What goes in hard and comes out soft and sticky? Gum."

"Pilot: Hi folks, I thought it'd be nice to speak to you out here instead of over the intercom. Unrelated, is anyone on board a locksmith?"

"Let's take a moment to thank earphones For helping us ignore stupid people all around us."

"Flight Attendant: Would you like some headphones? Man: Yes, and how did you know my name was Phones?"

"I'm the first to review a series of roads that have no left turns ... ... it's alright."

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, im going in!"

"As a young boy my mom would always tuck me in at night She always wanted a girl."

"Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles ""how to read a book""."

"Why do scuba divers jump off the boat backwards? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"What is the official ice cream flavor of the Academy Awards? Vanilla, because it's all white."