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Joke of the Day

"Instead of ""Who's your daddy?"" I accidentally said ""How's your daddy?"" and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol"

"White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do. We do it in schools, because we have class."

"Friend: ""I just blew a speaker in my car."" Me: ""Which kind?"" Friend: ""Motivational."""

"The only time me and a girl orgasmed at the same time,nnShe didn't even know I was in the cupboard."

"I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes. I usually end up stabbing the chair."

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a chair."

"marrying ur high school sweetheart is like eating chicken tenders n being like ok cool im only eating chicken tenders the rest of my life"

"I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published. It was all in vein."

"You know you're drunk when... ...you get home, put food in the microwave, and then enter your pin number."

"Have you seen the new movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet..."