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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy."

"What's long, stiff and full of se(a)men? Maddie McCan"

"How do blondes carpool? They meet up a work"

"I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, Are you two an item?"

"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets"

"Everything is edible, some things are only edible once."

"How does Yo-Yo Ma answer the phone? Cello?"

"A guy came up to me in the street today... ...and asked me if I wanted to enter a raffle for cancer? I thought, ""what a shit prize..."""

"Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding? He heard the reception was going to be terrible..."

"[sees kid crying in grocery store] hey little guy [kneels down to his level] Can you please move you're blocking the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"