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Joke of the Day

"What i if told you... You the read first line wrong... And the second... Yeah Downvote me because feel you stupid."

"Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today..... I said stop wasting your time, we should be concentrating on locking them up."

"How do we know that Dumbledore was a horcrux? Because killing him after the second film wasn't good enough."

"NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs..."

"Why is it called extra virgin olive oil? Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees."

"A man breaks into a pharmacy and kills the pharmacists... He then steals as much medicine as he can carry and runs off. Police say it was the first known case of a modern day pillage."

"If your uncle Jack was riding a horse named Bill Cosby, and your uncle got stuck on the horse, would you help your uncle Jack off Bill Cosby?"

"Hey super sassy black women. I see you. But most importantly, I hear you. And everyone else does too."

"What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral? One less drunk."

"Chihuahua is my favorite pet that is also the sound I make during a bikini wax."