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Joke of the Day

"Antique shop owners in the middle east have one rule Dubreak, Dubai."

"It's impossible to beat God in gymnastics. He always wins the all-around."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer!"

"What's the worst game to give someone who has OCD and anxiety issues. Perfection."

"Wanted: Personal psychic for wealthy client. Salary: $10,000 per week plus bonuses. Free accommodation. 10 weeks paid leave per year. Company car. Generous pension scheme. You know where to apply."

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken."

"Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ? He had a bee in his suit of armour !"

"What is Gucci Mane's favorite kind of cheese? Gruyeauuuurrrrrrrrrr"

"Hezbollah put out a new Moisturiser... 100% Shi'a butter."

"[slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!"