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Joke of the Day

"When your prospective father-in-law asks:""Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?"" Do NOT say:""Because I am tired of using my own"""

"Did you hear about the man with no arms or legs that swam the English channel? What a cleverdick..."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster farmer and a prostitute with diarrhoea? The farmer shucks between fits."

"What value is higher than infinity? Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry."

"Do you know what would happen if the Pope showed up randomly to a Catholic service? Mass hysteria."

"""Let there be me."" God, just before he created himself out of nothing."

"A guy walks into a bar He has a frog on his shoulder, the bartender says Hey where'd ya get that? The frog says it started out as a wart on my ass."

"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."

"USDA steak inspector? YEP! Chuck Testa!"

"Storm What do call if it was raining Nazis? A Heil storm"