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Joke of the Day

"When your prospective father-in-law asks:""Why do you ask for my daughters hand in marriage?"" Do NOT say:""Because I am tired of using my own"""

"Why did the gambler think he was in heaven? He found his pair a' dice!"

"How do you ruin a joke? By explaining it. Because you know, jokes are supposed to be understood implicitly, without you having to say the reason behind why the punchline is funny."

"i love working at the post office at the north pole and ripping up white children's letters to santa claus"

"What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ? One rarely bites and the other barely writes !"

"What do you call a gay man's ball sack? Mud flaps."

"What's your dad getting for Christmas? Bald and fat."

"Why did Hitler buy the car when it went on sale? Because he liked the holocost."

"Helen Keller was blind and deaf. She would still lip sync better than Mariah Carey."

"Why does nobody ever talk about Jack the Ripper's sleazier French cousin? Jock the stripper."