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Joke of the Day

"I don't know if laughter is the ""best"" medicine, but I do like that it doesn't have a $35 co-pay."

"Karen: Are we ok? Me: [removes earbud] Yes. Karen: It's just that you named a Spotify playlist ""LET'S GET DIVORCED"""

"My mom threw away all my Linkin Park CDs and kicked me out of the house. But in the end it doesn't even matter."

"A grandpa tells his grandson ""Your generation depends too much on technology."" The grandson unplugs his grandpa's life support."

"I'm having problems with my cat, He told me i was a prima-donna, which makes no sense. She became famous in the 80's and I was born in '93. I am most certainly post-Madonna."

"[office] DAVE: We're having a baby SUE: Congratulations! ME: [suspicious that Dave is a seahorse] Looking forward to the birth, Dave?"

"Pimp my ride I've just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA. Should look cool on my black jeep."

"What's the plural of ""Referendum""? Riots."

"Women wake up yawning and men with an erection. Coincidence? I think not."

"I wonder if black ants and red ants have beef. I never see them chilling together. Ever."