204077
Joke of the Day
"I likes my liver like I likes my Twitter. Over capacity."
Next Joke
"GF: just FYI, my dad teaches at the Naval Academy [meeting her parents] ME: [lifting up shirt] does my belly button look weird to you?"
"I plagiarized a book about native Americans... I eventually got siouxed."
"Doctor Doctor Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think I'm turning into an orange! Have you tried playing squash?"
"I saw an advert for a 1 TV. It said ""The volume is stuck on full."" Well, I can't turn that down, can I?"
"What do you call a Chinese Podiatrist? Hee Lan To"
"A girl tells her Irish mom she wants to be a prostitute. 'A WHAT?' The mother shouts. 'A prostitute' replies the girl. 'OH thank god!! I thought you wanted to become Protestant!"
"How does a secret agent have sex? He does it undercover!"
"What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies"
"A woman says to her husband... A woman says to her husband, ""I'm sick and tired of you pushing me around, and talking behind my back."" The husband says, ""but honey you're in a wheelchair."""