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Joke of the Day

"A study was just conducted to see what the #1 fear in humans is The results came back, and it's cats. But something seems a little off. They've only done testing on mice so far"

"What does a male prostitute say when his phone keeps ringing after he's seen 3 clients in a row? ""FOUR FUCKS ACHE!!"""

"Carbon was under a lot of pressure from his parents to marry Silicon so Carbon gave her a diamond."

"Stuff I think about... I've often wondered what would happen if a Schizophrenic took a multi-vitamin. I have many more of these posers I may or may not post...."

"How many ways are there to please a guy? Three way."

"I lost my to-do list I don't know what to do"

"That question from your wife for which either answer is wrong Apparently the third answer ""it's not the dress"" isn't right either."

"I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse. Ba dum tiss"

"What's the most erotic food you can eat by yourself? Beef strokin'-off"

"Gas is $4 a gallon and girls still think we're coming over to just ""chill."""