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Joke of the Day

"My wife found a spot between her boobs this morning. The doctor eased her worries telling her it was just her belly button"

"Him: Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big? Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk."

"It can't go on! It can't go on! What can't go on? This baby's vest ? it's too small for me."

"Mummies are basically just zombie burritos."

"[sketchy parking lot] stranger: hey man, can you jump my car? me: maybe if i get a running start"

"There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who where expecting a ternary joke."

"I'm saving up my money for a sex change operation... ...and I don't care how much my wife protests it. I wanted a boy, dammit."

"Why do dogs run in circles ? Because its hard to run in squares !"

"So a DBA walks into a NOSQL bar... but immediately leaves because he couldn't find a table"

"I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?"