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Joke of the Day

"Which character in Game of Thrones do I envy the most? Some bloke named Winter. Managed to go 4 years without cumming."

"I had pamphlets printed up for when someone asks what's wrong with me."

"I opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe. It didn't. So I gave it mouth to mouth."

"I'm making a fortune promoting home security systems The pitch is easy. All I do is say ""Good morning"". At 3am whilst sitting on the end of their bed."

"dat hyphen A man eating fish was saved by a hyphen from a man-eating fish (you might have heard it before but its new to me)"

"Did you hear what happened to the dildo farmer? He had a big problem with squatters."

"What's the difference between a zoo in Louisiana and a zoo anywhere else? In Louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe."

"Coke is just cherry coke after it's lost its virginity."

"What's the best part about gardening? Getting down and dirty with your hoes."

"You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha"