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Joke of the Day

"Hey Facebook, I really don't care that somebody commented on a post that I commented on seven days ago."

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"Girl you got the brains of a seal. Wanna get smashed at the club?"
"What do you call inexplicably missing aioli? Awoli."
"Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a car."
"Where's the ""It's Complicated"" box to check off on this tax form?"
"Someone asked me today where I'll be in 5 years... Seriously? I'm wearing glasses, you know I don't have 2020 vision."
"Facebook would be way cooler if it was on TV. : ""In other news Brian's ex-girlfriend is still a cold, heartless b!tch. Details at 11""."
"What will Kim Jong-Un name his child? Kim Jong-Deux."
"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... Unless you're talking to someone at a funeral. Dimitri Martin"
"I like my coffee the way I like my women... Anyway I can get them."
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