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Joke of the Day

"Hey Facebook, I really don't care that somebody commented on a post that I commented on seven days ago."

"Your mom can deduct mouthwash and contraceptives as business expenses on her tax return. Because she's a ho."

"Have you heard of Bill Cosby's new T.V. show? It's called, ""Women say the Dardest things."" He denies rape charges for thirty minutes."

"What is something that you can never eat for breakfast? Lunch and dinner."

"I'm drunk and ready to get retarded! Wait, that's not politically correct. I'm soberly-challenged and ready to get retarded!"

"What do you call a sick extraterrestrial? An ailin' alien."

"The world is full of people who just need to hug a cactus."

"Rap is 75% crap"

"Pizza is a good argument against nihilism."

"People are always impressed to hear that I graduated from Harvard at 16, but you can do anything you set your mind to if you just lie."