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Joke of the Day

"99 cent stores must've had some pretty nice shit in 1921"

"Octopus - 8 arms ""Yes"" Octagon - 8 sides ""Yes"" Octuplets - 8 babies ""Yes"" October - 8th month ""No"" I'm burning this world down"

"So an elf walked into a bar... The hobbit laughed and walked under it."

"I got my Bank Balance back today. It was a picture of a priest. I put it on a spitroast, so at least now I can say I'm turning a prophet."

"What do you call that little white stuff on the top of bird shit? More bird shit. (Dad joke from the 70's)"

"I had to pick a password that was 8 characters long. I went with 'snowwhiteandthesevendwarves'."

"""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" *sighs* ""Because I'm a sweater"" ""BECAUSE YOUR A SWE- hehe yeah that's weird but no. Tail light's out."""

"Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny got arrested? He was charged with assault and battery."

"'Escalator' is what He-Man's enemy is called in Spain."

"My mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer... finally."