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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it We went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer."

"Bill Gates is giving 100k to help develop a better & safer condom. I don't care how good it is, im not wearing a condom that says Microsoft."

"Ahhhh, Pawn Stars So, I walk into Rick Harrison pawn shop and I ask, ""Can I have change for a dollar?"" He responds,""I can only do 75."""

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then? Well I saw this light at the window...!"

"Hey Pringles, it's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed."

"When you don't even acknowledge I held a door open for you, I want to pull you back inside by your neck, and say ""now let's try this again."""

"Why do black men love with their girls call them ""Daddy""? It's showing that she knows one day he's going to walk out on her and never come back."

"I saw the expiration date on my condoms They say it takes thousands of years for latex to degrade, but apparently it's been longer than that since I've gotten laid"

"What's the opposite of assault? a pepper."

"I can't watch the Super Bowl this year. It's all a LI"