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Joke of the Day

"* Pogoing Outside Your Window ~ Are... You... Sure... You... Don't... Want.... A... Second... Date?"

"what does an italian eat when he's mad at his boss ? kielbasa (said with an italian accent)"

"I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00"

"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he gets 3 ho's... Yeah it's bad... But santa isn't real anyways..."

"If you've been kind to nature, birds will rescue you through your sunroof in a traffic jam and fly you to their kingdom"

"I got my dog from an orphanage like, two years ago. Those orphans STILL hold a grudge."

"Ah, I love self-deprecating humor. That's one more thing that won't love me back."

"A woman sends her logician husband to the shops. ""Get me a loaf of bread,"" she said, ""and if they have eggs, get me a dozen."" The husband returns from the shop with twelve loaves of bread."

"My doctor is always whispering to me something about not sticking Q tips in my ears. I need a louder doctor"

"*Getting a tattoo* Me(to tattoo artist)-Do you ever make the bzzz-sounds with your mouth when you're using a regular pen on your spare time?"