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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a shopping cart and a radical feminist? A shopping cart will, on occasion, exhibit a mind of it's own"

"Doctor Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains Well pull yourself together then"

"What do you call a Mexican drowning in a vat of cheese? Nacho problem."

"I can't help but feel partially responsible for the fact that you're reading this Tweet right now."

"Doctor wanted a semen sample, stool sample and urine sample. I gave him a pair of my underwear. Here, you sort it out."

"I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don't know if they're showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner."

"""Come on now, I'm sure that Megatron isn't such a bad guy when you get to know him..."" - Optimist Prime."

"What happens when an egg laughs? He cracks up"

"I feel sorry for all of the atheists named Christian."

"I was going to go to the gym and run 7 miles this morning to continue trying to look good but then I remembered I own Photoshop."