202020

Joke of the Day

"The name's Bong. Jay Bong. Agent 420. Weed."

"hello secretary? i need you to go to that website where you can combine pokemon and combine mew and squirtle, print it out and bring it here"

"WIFE: We'd have less arguments if he wasn't so pedantic THERAPIST [to me] Is that right? ME: No. It should be fewer arguments"

"Freddy from scooby doo was a candidate for mayor of L.A in the 90s He ran on splitting up gangs."

"If Donald Trump becomes president, we could finally out-crazy North Korea."

"When your date asks about your hobbies, DON'T grab her table knife in a napkin and say, ""Collecting knives with strangers' prints on them."""

"There were zwei peanuts walking down the strae... ... and one was a salted... peanut."

"Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants? Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to /u/Diablo182"

"*On my Deathbed* Me: Tell Tac.. *cough* Wife: What sweetie? Tell who what?! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off.."

"Fight Club I went to my first fight club meeting last night, I showed up late so I missed the first few rules but it was awesome I love fight club cant wait for the next meeting"