201761

Joke of the Day

"Why did God create black men? So fat white girls could dance (and get laid)."

"Punctuation is really important: it's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse, and helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse."

"I was going to tell you this joke about Matthew Shepard... ...but I'm kind of on the fence about it."

"Why did the hipster drown? They tried to skate on the river before it was cool."

"As confused as an atheist who's stuck behind a car that isn't moving at a green light & has a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you love God"

"I used to think ""I hope I don't do anything stupid."" Now it's more like ""I hope whatever stupid shit I do at least fits in a tweet."""

"What is he only Jewish bird in the entire bird kingdom? The segal"

"Sorry I used your baby's bald head as a lipstick blotter."

"I really love Bruce Willis. I have all of his movies, hundreds of posters, and multiple autographs You might say that I'm a die-hard fan"

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeleine McCann"