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Joke of the Day

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but you have to wonder how they got in there."

"What's heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds."

"Tape Recording for Beginners by Cass Ette"

"Tater Tots are chewed up French Fries"

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea to bring an Ebola patient to Atlanta, I'm saying everyone should leave Atlanta because I've seen this movie...."

"What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse? Take me to your Liederkranz."

"Bert is walking with Albert through the park and says, ""I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."" Albert says, ""What's the name of his other leg?"""

"Two chemist walks into a bar The first chemist says ""A glass of H2O"" The second says ""A glass of H2O, too"" The second chemist died soon after."

"I had no shoes and I felt sorry for myself..... Then I met a man with no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

"I should buy a 26.2 sticker! for my nose..."