201207

Joke of the Day

"Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens."

"A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. ""That's so cool"" says the bartender, ""where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" replies the parrot."

"Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn't burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You."

"What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !"

"When people ask, ""Don't I know you from somewhere?"", I reply ""Yes, we were best friends as children until you murdered my puppy."""

"Why did no one like the Archer Because he was too arrowgant!"

"A QA Engineer walks into a bar an orders a beer. And orders 2 beers, and orders 7445553822 beers, and orders -1 beers, and orders asdfadf beers, and orders Robert'); DROP TABLE beers;"

"What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but no one can pee soup!"

"I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It's like they don't know I plan on cropping them out later."

"Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to."