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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too? Imagination."

"I've just turned a mortgage payment into wine. Your move, Jesus."

"The only thing I know about women is that they have lots of feelings and they're not afraid to tell you about each and every one of them."

"The Mexican magician The Mexican Magician tells the audience she will disappear on the count of three. He says ""uno...dos...*poof*"" he disappeared without a tres."

"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine."

"Why is Perfume so cheap? Because its only worth one scent!"

"Kissing the back of someone's neck is a sensuous thing to do. Unless it's a stranger in a queue in Primark."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell."

"Did Abraham's brother have any kids? Yes. A Lot."

"Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am currently sober."