200828

Joke of the Day

"My GPA is underwater I Guess you could say it's below C-level"

"Threesome? No thank you. If I wanted to disappoint 2 people at once, I would go to dinner with my parents."

"I decided to live at the gym, it was free! Because of squatter's rights."

"A lime and banana decided to become a stand-up comedy duo and called themselves ... Key and Peele."

"Whats Irish and stays out all night? Patty O'Furniture"

"I just met a woman who told me she had ""trouble keeping weight on"" in times of stress. I ate her."

"Auto-correct turned ""likeable"" into ""lickable"" and the new intern is confused by her evaluation."

"Not sure why this lady looked so shocked when I whispered, ""LIAR!"" into her ear after I watched her type ""lol"". She did NOT lol."

"I haven't jerked off in almost a month I guess you can say I haven't been feeling myself lately"

"What starts with N, has two Gs in the middle, and has no business wearing a pointy white hood? Your noggin"