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Joke of the Day
"My wife was vehemently prolife. Until she heard the news that my girlfriend is pregnant."
Next Joke
"I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it's slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever."
"My doctor said i had to take something against my kleptomania... So i stole his wallet."
"Made the mistake of ordering chlorine for the pool and researching Kenya so I'm tweeting this from what appears to be a windowed black van."
"*lil wayne begins typing lyrics into mocrosoft word* *paperclip pops onto screen* Do you mean ""digger""?"
"COP: ""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ME: ""So it wouldn't be windy when we talked."""
"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats ... Business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof."
"Men are like coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere."
"My friend asked if I knew what kind of sweater he was wearing. I said I had no idea, he said ""Guess."" ""Hollister?"" ""No. Guess."" ""North face?"" ""No... Guess"" I sill don't know."
"What does Vin Diesel call ""pin the tail on the donkey""? Fasten the furry ass."