200730

Joke of the Day

"I wish I could unhinge my jaw so when the dentist says ""open wide,"" I could really wow him."

"If my friends and I torrent in Jamaica Does that make us Pirates of the Caribbean?"

"What's the difference between a punchline and a cute girl? Sometimes I get the punchline :("

"Heard this in an Indian soap opera.. Boy: Are you from England? Girl: Yeah! How'd you know? Boy: You are so beautiful, I just thought."

"The only thing worse than the one that got away is the one that won't go away"

"What is the difference between a whore and a bitch? A whore will have sex with anybody, a bitch will have sex with anybody except you."

"Velcro. What a rip off!"

"What do you call a puppy with a camera? A furtographer"

"I've never been to Japan, but I've seen a bunch of emojis so I think I get the idea."

"I was talking to my buddy about 50 Shades Of Grey He said ""yeah, my wife and I have been doing S&M for years."" ""Really!"", I said, ""I had no idea!"" ""Sure,"" he said, ""she sleeps and I masturbate!"""