20062

Joke of the Day

"Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time? ...it was Luke warm."

"I pulled my cow's udder, but nothing came out. He's a milk dud."

"I was so touched last week when a shopkeeper handed my 3yo a donut without checking with me, that today I gave his teen a bag of heroin."

"Why was the prostitute so good at her job? It was in her whoremoans."

"I was at a gas station and I accidentally filled up my escort with diesel. She died."

"Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. 'Whatever's the matter ?' asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'"

"(pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one ""What was your favorite part?"" I'd have to say the Peace"

"Why don't Dunkin' Donuts employees wear name tags? It wouldn't fit on their shirt."

"I used to date a hoarder, and she broke up with me. That really stings ... I'm like the one thing she could get rid of."

"I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence."