200582

Joke of the Day

"Whenever I'm sad, my dad tells me ""cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I know he means well..."

"""Ewww how'd that get in the house? I don't wanna kill it. I'll just put it outside"" *scoops your baby up in a tissue*"

"When is it alright to spit in a muslims face It never is"

"My kids don't like when I drink, but if it wasn't for alcohol, they wouldn't even be here."

"What is a Mexican with a rubber toe called Roberto"

"Why was the ghost uneducated? He was too ghoul for school"

"If you dont sin, Jesus died for nothing!"

"What did John and Yoko say when their son wouldn't eat his vegetables? ""All we are saying is give peas a chance."""

"What do you call a sharp witted man, that knows many languages, and is skilled at giving oral? A cunning linguist."

"Teachers in school told me I wouldn't amount to anything, now i'm laughing all the way to the bank... To dispute my most recent overdraft fee"