20011

Joke of the Day

"Oh, you were sexually harassed in the workplace? Sounds like a personnel problem."

"Not only is my short-term memory horrible... So is my short-term memory."

"What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing? Justin Bieber"

"Hyperbole: Literally the worst thing ever."

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""This is not working. I'm going to my mom's house."" I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?"

"Moses opens his tablet. The notification says, ""You have 10 unread commandments'."

"I remember when my son fell asleep at a house party we had. I decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face. My wife went mental when she picked him up to change his nappy."

"why are bouquets only for flowers? why not a bouquet of hot dogs. or a bouquet of hot dogs with ketchup. or a bouquet of hot dogs with musta"

"The owner of the Regal movie theatre chain has died. Services will be held Tuesday at 1:00, 4:15, 7:30 & 10:30."

"My friend got a job as a metronome. I said, is that a regular thing?"