20010

Joke of the Day

"If your best clothes proudly advertise Monster Energy Drink, you can't be left alone with your best looking cousin."

"How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line!"

"My great great grandfather died in a Nazi death camp. He fell off of a guard tower."

"What was the burglar doing at Wayne Manor? Robin."

"Speed dating, but instead of talking, you just exchange phones for 3 minutes and try to glean as much information from them as you can."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"A news reporter was interviewing a man... who was a witness to a public masturbation incident. When asked why he did nothing to stop the perpetrator the man replied, ""Well, he had it coming."""

"*spends 4 hours applying sunscreen to kids *kids play outside for 7 minutes"

"""People want to feel special.. they'll buy sugary piss in a bottle as long as it has their name on it."" - Executives at Coke"

"What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause? He knows where all the naughty girls live #*( )*"